Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Food is not a cure-all...

One important lesson I have learned, and am still learning in this journey is that there will be hiccups. Just because I have decided I want to be healthy and fit, does not always mean the emotional side of my brain will listen to the logical side of my brain. Sometimes, emotions will run high, and the desire to turn to food for comfort or turn to food to fill a need (other than hunger) will arise. I am currently in the midst of one of those times. It will be short-lived, and I will not falter, because even now as I am writing, I am gaining the confidence that I will not let this hiccup derail my progress.

This is going to sound childish, but I am trying to be non-specific. Essentially someone hurt my feelings within the last couple of days. Instead of confronting the issue immediately, I let it fester then I saw lots of little things that continued to hurt my feelings. Yesterday, at work, I was a little bored. Not because I don't have a ton to do, but because most of the work I need to do is office work. I enjoy working with children and I like a nice mix of office work and working with kids.

Essentially, here is the UGLY equation:
Festering Hurt Feelings + Boredom+ left over party sweets= potential for disaster.

On the way home from work, I convinced myself that I "needed" chocolate. When I got home, I indulged. At this point, I was still within my points-plus, so it was fine. By the end of the night, I had gone in to some of my weekly allowable; I did not binge on sugar (though, I very easily could have). 

What I should have done was go to planet fitness, but I wanted my three workout days to fall Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday since I am having oral surgery on Friday. In retrospect, I still should have just gone and gotten out of the house and away from temptation. I always feel better after workout, and I certainly don't want to waste points after I just worked my tush off!!!  

The point of this post is that this morning, I still had the desire for unhealthy eating. Enjoying some chocolate yesterday did not make my issues go away. My feelings are still hurt, and I am still battling some deep rooted insecurities. This fitness journey is not just about eating healthy and exercising, there is a mental and emotional side to eating as well. Until we confront and address those issues, the temptation to turn to food for comfort will always be there. 

The good news is that I am able to recognize the problem and not allow myself to go crazy. Even yesterday, I tracked every bite. Today, I am just going "cold turkey" and not allowing my-self any additional sugar. I am not "waiting for Monday" to restart. I never really stopped. I hit a bump, I recognize it, and I am readjusting. I am also still fully expecting a loss at my weigh-in because I have been well within my weekly allowable points and I did not even touch my exercise points.

I get daily inspirational quotes in my email and the picture above was yesterday's. It couldn't have come at a more needed time. I have the optimism and I have the hope. I am working on the confidence.

On a totally different note: there are a couple of people that I care deeply about that have taken the last couple of days to really start a new exercise and eating program. I am immensely proud of them and hope to continue to receive updates. Here's a shout out to you (if you read my blog!) Keep it up!! I am proud!!

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